To fall in love

The first thing on Michael’s mind is Lina. He is longing to see her. He has a lot of things he wants to tell her. But what happens? Michael can’t get a word out.

His mouth completely dries up. His cheeks are flushed, and his palms are sweaty. His heart is beating faster and faster. He feels dizzy. Is Michael ill?

No, he’s in love. Let’s see what is going on inside Michael. No, it’s not the heart we are to examine, but the brain. When we feel, think, experience, or remember something, it’s because of substances that transfer signals from one nerve cell in the brain to another. These substances are neurotransmitters.

When we fall in love, there are several neurotransmitters involved and they affect each other. They do many different things, depending on the situation. But when it comes to falling in love, this is approximately what happens: This substance make us feel stable in our moods: Serotonin. When we fall in love the level of serotonin decreases so that everything feels a bit topsy-turvy. One moment we are hopeful the next we might be sad.

This substance make us feel intoxicated or drugged: Phenylethylamine. And this makes us feel awake and alert - we don’t need to sleep as much as usual: dopamine. Other substances make us feel wound up or stressed: Adrenaline, Cortisol and Noradrenaline, It’s these stress-substances that contribute to Michael getting tongue-tied, a fast-beating heart, and warm and sweaty. It’s very impractical isn’t it? Just when we want to say the most interesting things, and seem cool, our bodies react sort of..

in the opposite way. And there’s more going on in the brain when we fall in love. Some parts of the brain are almost closed off or blocked when we look at the person we are in love with. This part of the brain is important for us to understand what we are feeling: the Amygdala. The Amygdala plays an important part in every feeling, but perhaps especially fear.

When we fall in love the Amygdala reacts less to fear. So we feel braver and we dare to do crazy things for the sake of our love. Here, on the sides of the brain are some parts that have to do with negative feelings. But when we are in love the brain “listens” less to the negative. Instead we experience everything as much more positive and lovely than usual.

This area of the brain works critically. Here there are parts that are important to our judgment. When the activity decreases here, everything about those we love seems fantastic. Even if the same things would have made us react negatively if someone else said or did them. This is why we sometimes say that, “Love is blind.” Michael would like to stop being tongue-tied now, so that he can make Lina realise how awesome he is.

He wants them to hug and kiss and have sex... To have sex with someone, especially someone you are in love with, might make your body feel intoxicated thanks to - among other things - the dopamine and Phenylethylamine. But it also activates another neurotransmitter, the “Cuddle hormone” - Oxytocin. Why the “cuddle hormone”? Well it increases with skin contact - like when hugging.

Oxytocin arouses feelings of safety, that are calmer than the feelings that appear when first falling in love. Oxytocin makes us experience feelings of wanting to be together. And of wanting to keep being together, even after the first mad intoxication of falling in love has disappeared. Michael wants to tell Lina how he feels. But when Michael looks at Lina, he forgets what he was about to say.

That’s okay. Even if he had remembered it, his tongue would have been too tied, he wouldn’t have been able to say it.