Adoption

This is Philip and his family — his mum Davina and his dad Mark. But Philip doesn’t look much like his parents. The reason why people often look like their biological parents is that many physical traits — such as eye colour, are passed from parents to their children through genetic material. But Davina and Mark are not Philip’s biological parents, so he does not share their genetic material. Philip was adopted, and Mark and Davina are his adoptive parents.

Philip’s biological parents, and Philip’s adoptive parents were really close friends. Philip’s biological parents had no relatives, so when Philip was born, they asked Mark and Davina to take care of him if anything ever happened to them. A year later, Philip’s parents were killed in a car accident. Davina and Mark kept their promise and became Philip’s guardians. Soon after, they started the process of legally adopting Philip.

When adoption was finalised, Mark and Davina got parental rights — such as making important medical decisions, or decisions about Philip’s education — everything that his biological parents would have done otherwise. Philip knows he is adopted, and doesn’t remember his biological parents — Mark and Davina are the only parents he’s ever known. He never really thinks about it, except when meeting new people. I just wish everyone would stop asking me why I don’t look like my parents! Not all adoptions are like Philip’s though, and it is not only orphans who can be adopted.

Sometimes, parents make a decision to place their newborn baby for adoption. There may be many reasons for this: people might not be able to give their child the best life possible and believe someone else might be able to. People might not feel ready to raise a baby, or perhaps do not want to be parents. Sometimes, people can lose parental rights, in which case their children may end up in foster care or be adopted. This can happen if the authorities think a child’s life is in danger if they stay with their parents.

This can be due to severe abuse or neglect by the parents, or severe mental illness of the parents. Not all adoptees are babies either, some can be older, even teenagers! People decide to adopt for many reasons. Couples who struggle to have their own biological children because of infertility, sometimes choose to adopt — it might be their only option to raise a child. But sometimes people who have biological children decide to adopt as well!

Parents also choose different ways of telling their children that they are adopted. Mark and Davina decided to talk to Philip about his biological parents from a young age. They would look at photos together, and share stories with Philip. Others may choose to wait until later, when the children might be able to understand more about it. Parents who adopt are often praised for helping a child and bringing them into a family.

Those who decide to place a child for adoption are often criticised and judged by others. It is important to remember that choosing adoption is often a long and very difficult process; and that for both sides, adoption is a very personal decision. The more society normalises adoption, the better both parents and children will feel about it. I’ve never had any other parents, and mum and dad are the best!