Bullying and harassment

Hey Leon, what’s the matter? There was this thing today that bothered me and I’m not sure if I did the right thing... Nice hat… NOT! Hahahahaha Ha… ha… ha I didn’t really know what to do, so I just laughed. He was laughing too, right?

Everyone was. So I guess he thought it was funny… You don’t sound very sure about that... Well, actually he looked sad when it happened. Well Leon, just because someone doesn’t get physically hurt, doesn’t mean they can’t still feel hurt by other people's actions. How do you think being laughed at in front of all those people made him feel?

Probably really embarrassed… I would feel awful if everyone laughed at me. I guess he just wanted to laugh it off to hide how embarrassed he felt, and to get the bully to back off. So what would you have done differently? Could you have said something? I wanted to say... “Hey!

That’s not funny.” Okay, so why didn’t you say that then? … well We were joking. Obviously we were just joking. Can’t you take a joke? … I didn’t think it would help. Well, it might not have gone that way, Leon! Try it again. “Hey!

That’s not funny.” “Yeah, it’s not funny!” “Oh, um… I was just joking…. Sorry.” See Leon? Your words can make a difference! I guess it sometimes can make a difference just to say something. But… what about when I really can’t say anything?

Like there’s this guy on my team, sometimes he’s not very nice to our other teammates. He yells at them when they don’t run fast enough, and he calls them “idiots.” I want to tell him to stop, but he’s way bigger than me, and pretty intimidating too! That’s not good. Have you thought about talking to someone? Like a teacher, or your coach?

Yeah, but I don’t want to be a tattletale… You know Leon, if telling an adult or someone you trust can help get someone out of trouble, it’s not tattling. If you can stand up for someone who is being bullied by telling an adult, that’s a really good thing. That’s being a team player. I know... but what if I make it worse?

Well... it's always easier to just not do anything when you witness bullying, but then you know for sure that not much will change. Your coach only has a chance to help out if he knows what’s going on. I guess when I just laugh or turn away it makes it seem like I’m okay with bullying… but I’m not! Bullying is wrong!

Maybe doing nothing is almost as bad as being the bully yourself... It’s good that you notice when someone is being treated badly, and it’s good that you want to help, but no one should put themselves in an unsafe situation. Even taking a small action is better than doing nothing: it’s showing that you’re not on the bully’s side. Sometimes you can intervene yourself, sometimes you can talk to the person being bullied afterwards, sometimes you can talk to an adult you trust. The bullying is probably not going to go away immediately, but small actions can go a long way.

I think I have an idea! Can I sit here with you? By the way, I really like your hat!