Being in a group

Selma is getting ready for an esports competition. She loves her team, Karma Strike. Selma’s teammates are her best friends. They tell each other everything! Your team, your family, your classmates… they are all collections of people that have shared characteristics or a shared purpose — they are groups.

Groups can form around anything people have in common — living in the same house, liking video games... People can move in and out of different groups and can be part of several at the same time. Selma is a gamer on an esports team. She’s a daughter and a big sister. She’s part of a religious community.

The list could go on! She also lives in a neighbourhood, in a city, in a country. Yes, even the people in an entire country can be considered a group! Groups are a lot like puzzle pieces. Each of the groups Selma belongs to, along with her personality traits, come together to form...

Selma. Groups can teach us a lot about how to behave in the world — how to be a good friend, a good family member, a good co-worker. We can learn a lot by watching others in the group and interacting with people we like and admire. We can be influenced. If your friends all get good grades in school, you might be motivated to try harder on the next test!

On the other hand, we might be influenced to do things that aren’t so good for us, just to fit in. We might spend more money than we should, or say things that are unkind about people outside the group. It can sometimes be difficult to manage our desire to “fit in” with our desire to do what we think is right. When groups are compatible, they work well. It can be so fun to be in a group!

They are a place for us to belong and feel included. When we need help, groups can be there for us, giving us advice. Groups make up important parts of our identity. Maybe you feel like you can really be yourself in some groups. Your groups might feel like extensions of who you really are - like arms, or legs!

Sometimes, they can feel like the most important part of our lives. When things go “wrong” within our groups — people argue and disagree, people leave or new people join — we might feel anxious or upset. Why? This might be because we are worried about the stability of the group, or our place in the group. But it’s human nature to keep seeking out new groups.

As our interests change or deepen, as we live in different places and meet new people, we continue to form and move between groups. As we do, we learn more about who we are, and how to be ourselves — both inside, and outside our groups. So Selma is ready for her tournament! They’re going to crush the other team! It’s normal to feel a bit of rivalry when your group interacts with other groups.

But group rivalry should not lead to actual negative feelings, like hate. Differences between people and groups are normal. Most people are not bothered by the fact that someone thinks differently to them, or behaves in a way they are not used to. Instead, they respect and appreciate those differences. They are tolerant of others.

Tolerance — an important skill that being in a group can teach! Good luck, Karma Strike!