Personal actions matter

Leon is turning 14 today. He’s feeling very grown up. Mum, I want to be more independent, I’m fourteen now so I’m practically an adult! Huh, what exactly do you mean by that? I want to decide everything for myself.

Like, when I go to bed, what I eat, what I do, everything! To Leon, being entirely responsible for himself seems great. He plans to play football all afternoon and evening, and then watch a film or two before going to bed — midnight at the earliest. He doesn’t want to eat as many vegetables anymore, because he doesn’t like the taste of them. He will eat a lot of fruit though.

And pizza, and ice cream and donuts... This all sounds quite fun, but in the long run, Leon’s actions might actually do him more harm than good. Going to bed too late and getting too little sleep will make him feel tired, and grumpy. The diet Leon is imagining for himself doesn’t sound very healthy either. His body won’t be able to work properly, running only on fruit, pizza and desserts.

So if Leon wants to become fully independent, he must realise he is responsible for his own health and wellbeing. What he does with his independence, what actions he takes, can determine how he feels, how other people see him, and what his future will be like. What you decide to do frequently affects only you. But our actions often impact other people, too. Sometimes, those affected are people close to us.

For example, if Leon decided to spend all his afternoons playing football, it would make his friend Michael quite upset. Leon wouldn’t have time to hang out or go camping with him anymore. Other times though, our actions can impact much larger groups of people, and even the environment we live in. A couple of years ago, Leon spent nearly every day of the summer at the nearby beach. But as the weeks went by, he started to notice more and more rubbish lying around.

It seemed as if people didn’t care at all if they came to a clean beach or a littered one! This upset Leon quite a lot, especially after he had to wrestle a plastic bag away from a bird trying to eat it. So he decided to do something about it — he made posters telling people that it’s bad to litter, and he put up signs directing people to the nearest bins. Then when the beach season ended, he convinced his football team to come and help him clean up the beach. Not only did this mean animals at the beach wouldn’t be harmed by litter anymore, it also meant that people coming to the beach could enjoy a much nicer space.

You might think there is no way you can have an effect on something, or influence someone — when Leon put up signs and posters at the beach he had no idea that people would actually be more mindful about where they leave their rubbish! But just as circumstances, events and other people have an effect on you every day, so too can you impact them. And even if others won’t be directly affected, it’s still important to think about how an action or decision will impact you, now and in the future. Hm… what about a compromise mum? I get to be independent some days, but you can help me plan others.