Descriptions in narrative text (SVFL)

Do you too, sometimes want to make someone cry? Not by being mean of course, but by telling a sad story. In that case you need to make your reader feel what the characters in your story feel. We're talking about description. The description of the settings and description of the characters.

There are two ways of crafting a description. In an ordinary setting description you work with the wording about what the place looks like. This kind of "ordinary" description is also called refererande. But if you really want the reader to feel something you should describe the setting through the character's eyes while he or she moves through it. Is there something about the setting that makes the character move in a special way?

Show how! Also describe how the character experiences the setting through the five senses: Hearing, sight, touch, taste, or smell. This kind of description is called a 'show-don't-tell' method or gestaltande. This is how an ordinary setting description might sound: The cosy square was full of people in love. Among the cobblestones were flowerbeds where bright colourful flowers grew.

Lisa felt lonely and invisible. Compare that to a show-don't-tell description: Lisa stumbled and nearly broke her heel on the cobblestones by the square. Why did she even wear these; her nicest shoes? What good would they do, it was not like anyone would notice her anyway. She limped her way past whispering couples that had eyes only for each other.

She tried not to see how hands caressed other hands. The flowerbeds smelled of a summer night. A night meant for lovers. In the first description these words are used. They are adjectives.

But in this show-don't-tell text these words are used to describe the setting. These are words for something that is happening, verbs. Does Lisa move in a specific way? Yes, she stumbles and limps. Does she experience anything through her senses?

Yes, she smells the flowers, she sees things and she hears whisperings from couples. In the first description the writer tells us that Lisa is feeling lonely but in the second the reader must figure it out from the clues in the text. The reader fills out the story with their own images and becomes a co-creator of the story. In a character description you reveal what your character looks like, The external characteristics. But you also need to describe the internal characteristics: What is your character like as a person?

Happy or sad? Social or shy? How do they act? Have they any dreams? Or fears?

In an ordinary description you tell all this by using adjectives. But when using show-don't-tell you show how this looks. A quick example from an ordinary description: Lisa is angry. And in show-don't-tell you ask yourself: How does that look? Well, when someone is angry they might make a fist, kick something, scream something.

Preferably you add something that is unique to your character's personality. How about: Lisa makes a fist in her pocket. She would gladly hit someone but her fist sort of gets stuck in her jeans pocket just like the swearing gets stuck in her throat. The swear-words taste like iron. Or maybe she just bit her tongue?

As soon as Mohammed looks away, Lisa kicks the closest streetlamp. It hurts, but she doesn't care. And Mohammed didn't notice. Now the reader realises that Lisa is angry but she does not like to show this. Is it just Mohammed she doesn't want to reveal her anger to?

This is up to the reader to interpret. There is nothing wrong with an ordinary description. Lots of famous writers have written these. But a show-don't-tell description evokes more feelings. So try to stay away from the adjectives, use verbs instead.

Show don't tell!