Column (SVFL)

What's up Tommy? Unhappy? I'm not ugly in real life, I'm pretty good-looking, but that doesn't show! Facebook is unfair! Ah, so you mean that you have been affected by how social media creates an appearance fixation and figured that this is a problem for others as well?

Nuh... or... yes... What you just said. Smart!

You should write a column. Okay!... What's a column? Columns are printed in most papers and are about something going on right now, or recently happened; a current event. What characterises a column is that it should be a personal text.

Use 'I', and tell us your view of the event in an entertaining way. The column does not usually argue for something to be done to solve a problem - like in a debate article. But it's meant to stimulate thoughts and make the reader feel like you do. Start with the introduction. Tell the reader why this topic is important to you and how you feel about it.

Use humour even if it's a serious topic. Start with describing something that just happened. Like this maybe: "This morning when I was going to take a selfie, to show my new hairdo, there must have been something wrong with the camera, 'cause I didn't look stunning. Hard on my friends, 'cause my hair might soon grow out again. It's Facebook's fault - everyone's so fixated about how they look in pictures.

Me too of course. You don't want to share a picture where you look like a dozy frog, do you?" I do not look like a frog! The readers will get that. When you write that something looks like a... or is like a...

you use something called simile. Similes are great to use in a column to spice up your language. Let's continue. "I, myself would rather look like a model" I already do. Okay: "Sure, I look like a model. But that doesn't come through in the picture; so it's not fair.

The picture doesn't show the whole truth!" Now you're done with your introduction. Keep writing the content by elaborating your thoughts. In what way have social media affected your perception of your looks? Tell the reader about that. Maybe you've got friends that have been affected by social media when it comes to looks?

Write about that as well. Choose situations that are recognisable to as many as possible. Pose questions to the reader. Questions that have obvious answers or that you answer yourself: rhetorical questions. Actually you have already written one rhetorical question. "You don't want to share a picture where you look like a dozy frog, do you?" The answer to this question is obvious: No, you don't.

But a rhetorical question could also be: "Do we all need butts like Kim Kardashian's to be good enough?" The answer to this question isn't obvious so you need to answer it yourself. "No, because small butts are also nice. They might not bounce as well but they are good enough to sit upon. And I sit all day." Besides rhetorical questions and similes there is a third way to spice up your language: You can use words for creating a picture that becomes a symbol for something else: a metaphor. Like this: "Help! Can someone give me a GPS?

I've lost my way in the tangled forest of appearance fixation." End the column by summarising your views on the topic. All you need now is a title. Can you think of a good one? I don't look like a frog.